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"Those who regularly take local papers, will already have come across some of Mr Irwin’s outragious recipes from his other work, ‘The Book of Successful Accidents’ otherwise known as, ‘Chaos in the Kitchen’! One day he might find someone insain enough to publish it. Until such time the rest, of us will have to make do with the odd ‘escapee’ Recipe!
I have included this, as it has more in common with folk-lore than the kitchen sink. This is NOT a recipe, more a formula (for disaster), if the words of caution are not followed to the very letter. It came to me from Lady who resided (that's a joke), in the West Country. Together with much history which is far too long to reproduce here.
CAUTION. LET NO-ONE WHO IS IN CHARGE OF A WAGON, CARRIAGE, HORSE, VELOCIPEDE, OR ONE OF THESE THINGS WITH AN INFERNAL COMBUSTION ENGINE, IMBIBE, UNLESS THEY CAN BE LOCKED UP SAFELY AFTER THE FESTIVITIES.
To the Formula!
Take four bottles each of good Red and White
wines.
To these one needs Brandy, Whisky, Rum (white and brown), Gin and
Vodka, all in half bottles.
Where possible, a cast iron pot of at least 1 gallon.
A dozen each of Apples, Oranges, Limes and Lemons.
Some sticks of Cinnamon and a handful of Cloves.
EIGHT PINTS OF THE VERY BEST VINTAGE CIDER.
(In taw West Countrry, they use Scrumppy).
Set the pot over a flame to warm through.
Electric hobs will do.
Add half the wines and half the fruits, cut
into quarters.
Simmer for a while, but DON'T BOIL.
Add some CIDER.
Drop in some cloves and cinnamon.
Add some whisky and one of the rums.
A little more CIDER to taste.
Add the Brandy and Gin.
Simmer.
A little more wine and some CIDER TO TASTE!
Now it's a case of adding and tating, tasing an addding all
that should be left.
After it has slimmered for about two hours, then and only then may you swerve the brew. That's if you can still see it! Molly used to serve it in half pint glasses. To start with.
It has a leveling effect on even the most
ardent drinker.
Oddly, one doesn't seem to suffer from the effects of overhang in
the morning.
(Which morning)
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